Another one bites the dust!
Divorce happens so frequently now a days. It comes so easy and people do it for every little thing it seems. What happened to commitment and meaning your vows? Why do you give your all to only be told ten plus years down the road that it was all a lie and they never loved you? I mean seriously, why would someone do that to themselves, let alone to someone else?
Well Obviously, I don't have all the answers, as I am going through yet another divorce. I want to believe there are still men out there that are not cowards and mean what they say. I can't believe it myself, but I still believe in the institute of marriage and that there has to be someone out there that still believes in forever and growing old with someone. In truth, I am just an old soul.
I always say that I want what my great grandparents had. Their marriage was not perfect, but they loved each other dearly till the day they died. The truth is I think those days are gone. I can't have what they had because the people who raised them to be that way are gone. How can we expect to have that when we don't teach that to our children. If we show them instead that divorce is so easy and sleeping around and such is no big deal. So you see.... I have been searching for something long ago past.
I mourn for what relationships and such are becoming and what it will be like for my grandchildren. One day there may not be a such thing as marriage. One day that will be something you read about in the history books. It's so very sad!
I know that this separation period is a time of reinventing myself, but to be honest, I don't want to do that. I feel, for me, it's more of reminding myself of who I AM. I have done a lot of compromising on things that I believe in and what I want. I don't want to do that anymore. No matter what anyone else says, I don't believe my standards are too high.
I want to be happy. I want to be that someone special to someone that they can't live without. I want to be a help mate, best friend, lover, partner, and I want all that in someone too. I want loyalty and faithfulness. I want someone to look out for me while I am looking out for everyone else. I know that there is someone out there that is looking for the same thing. Somewhere!!
I will not rush quickly into a relationship, like I have in the past. The past marriage/divorce has really done a number on me. I will have to know and believe that the next man is no coward and means what he says and who he says he is. I will not ever be in another relationship with a boy that loves boy things. I need a man who can handle responsibility and can take care of me and whatever comes along.
I will be in no hurry. I have family and friends and a life. I will pursue things that make me happy and other life dreams. I might be lonely at times, but I have been lonely for many years now and I was married. Being lonely is not the end of the world and I have to get through it day by day.
I will not settle and neither should you!